It’s no secret that I want to be back on vacation. I have a short trip to Houston in March with C.. It’s just a weekend jaunt, really. I was talking about it to a woman at work yesterday…she said, “What are you going to Houston for?” I said, “A party?” She said, “You’re flying to Houston for the weekend to go to a party?” I said, “Yep.” lol Why is that so odd? C. and I have friends in Houston - so why should it be weird to fly in for the weekend for a get-together of friends, food, drinks and fun? Not so odd, really.

The conversation I was having was with C. Make that, Chaplain C. She is a chaplain of some sort - and a very nice lady. This conversation sparked a whole other one that I wasn’t expecting. After the Houston conversation she said something to me like ….”You are a different person….in a good way….your opinions aren’t very popular ones, but I admire the way you are passionate about them and do not waiver from them.” I’m paraphrasing here - - but you get the gist. So I asked her what, of my opinions, weren’t very popular? She further explained how she can’t, for the life of her, understand how I can be Republican and an atheist at the same time? (C. and I had the atheism talk a month or so ago). I told her it was about as easy as understanding how she could be a chaplain and a woman at the same time? She said, “There is nothing wrong with a woman being a chaplain” - I said “Exactly my point - there is nothing wrong with being an atheist and a Republican”.

Not everyone in the Republican party is Jerry Falwell, for crying out loud. And I certainly do not knock a person for their beliefs or their religious convictions. GW is a fine example. He’s a religious man - - he evokes the name of ‘God’ frequently, and even quotes verses from the Bible. He ends almost every speech with “May God Bless America.” I really don’t take issue with that at all - - that’s his belief, I have mine. People are allowed - - it’s a free country. I do, however, identify largely with the values of the party. I listen, learn and make my choices - which have been mainly Republican in nature - - and those choices have nothing to do with religion, ever. So where is the confusion?

She then said, “I also have a hard time with how you can be an atheist and be involved in Hospice care?” This confuses me too. Hospice care, to me, is helping people - - patient’s and their families through the process of dying. The different stages of grief, the physical manifestations of the terminal disease, acceptance, etc. To me, it doesn’t have anything to do with ‘God’. Now, many of my patients have a firm belief in ‘God’ - and I am perfectly accepting of it. I always offer my patient’s the services of our chaplain because I understand that for many people, the concept of ‘God’ and the traditions of religion are very comforting to them in those last days of life. Just because I don’t believe in god doesn’t mean I am going to deny a patient of mine the opportunity to make peace and find comfort wherever, and however they can. My own disbelief doesn’t play any part in my patient’s care - - as with everything else, I wouldn’t ever try to force my own beliefs onto someone else…as a nurse, that isn’t my place.

C. asked me how I make peace with what I do? I asked her to explain? She further asked, how do I find comfort in the work that I do if I am of the belief that it is not ‘God’s’ work?

Of course it’s not ‘God’s’ work, as there is no god. And death doesn’t freak me out like it does for some. Death happens. Once I have been assigned to a patient with a terminal diagnosis, there isn’t anything that I, or anyone, can do to stop the hands of time. The only thing I can do is help them through it - - and their families. I can treat the patient’s symptoms to make sure they are very comfortable and help the patient and their family members through the entire dying process from the minute the doctor utters the word ‘terminal’ until the day the patient takes their last breath. To me, that is an honor and a privilege. What gives me comfort, I guess, is the fact that I, through the company that I work for, and the doctors I work with, was able to make the experience as comfortable as possible. End of story. I don’t hold any grandiose fantasies about doing the work of some faceless powerful deity.

C. said “I’ll pray for you.”

I said, “Ok - if that makes you feel better.”

C. then said, “I like you - you do wonderful work here.”

I said, “Thank you - the feeling is mutual, C.”

Who said those of differing opinions cannot coexist in the same general area?