It’s 9:30am and I haven’t slept yet. I stayed up all night long to make sure that Chris woke up for his early flight to Atlanta. I stayed up until he left . . then chatted a bit on the phone with my bud, Reilly.
Now I’m laying down for a little nap - - not too long, or else I’ll be up all night again and will get my days and nights all screwy, like I’ve done in the past.
I’ll leave you with this parting quote that Reilly told me this morning when we were talking about dead beat dads . . . and for that matter, dead beat parents who, for some unknown reason - can’t find it within themselves to better their lives in order to better their children’s lives . . and provide a good and positive role model for their kids to look up to . . . . you know the kind . . who refuse to get a job, keep a job or seek out opportunities to improve their lives? The ones who look every where else for a hand out . . . rather than turning the gaze inward and asking themselves the critical question of what can I do? How can I make this better? And then follow through and make it happen for themselves, for their children.
For those parents came this quote . . . (paraphrasing) . . “If you’re not going to take the steps you need, and the steps you can, to improve your life and the lives of your children - - then I want you to tuck your child into bed tonight . . look them straight in the eye and say ‘I’m sorry - you’re just not worth it’.”
Before you bash me with stories of people who just can’t help it because of this circumstance . . or because of that situation - - I’m talking about the parent who CAN but just won’t. The parent who has the means and the way - but just won’t.
That’s it for the day. Looking back over my past few posts - we’ve covered Dead Beats, Frog-Cicles and My blog as my lover. Ya think I need sleep? Oh . . .and how!
10:43 am on January 17th, 2005
Excellent!
/TJ
10:44 am on January 17th, 2005
Martin Luther King, Jr Day
Today’s Dose of NIF
11:36 am on January 17th, 2005
Very true, and reminds me of a comment a friend of mine was quoted on the other day:
“there’s the whole free will (or pretense of) thing. choices = more to stress over. for some it’s easier to find happiness in chains.”
2:37 pm on January 17th, 2005
I believe children know in their hearts the parents that can’t and the parents that won’t and respect and love accordingly.
5:53 pm on January 17th, 2005
Usually, the dead beat dads are the ones who have the warped idea that their X isn’t going to use the money they pay specifically for their kids. They, apparently, have the misconception that it doesn’t cost any money to raise kids. Or something. Not really sure. I mean, I know there are people out there that will misuse child support money, but … anyway, that’s the most frequent excuse that I’ve heard.
9:41 am on January 18th, 2005
I don’t think I got halfway through the latest Fred on Everything column without thinking of Lisa’s rant…
9:56 am on January 18th, 2005
My mom had a lot of chances to be a deadbeat parent - she was a single mother of 3, she had cancer & huge debts, she was educated but still in a low-paying job (she’s now moved up to a high-paying, very important job :smile
… but she did it. She put us before herself and was the best damn mom I could ever have 
12:39 pm on January 18th, 2005
Unfortunately all too often, it becomes not about the children and their needs, but an issue of not giving anything to the ex..Or, in the case of my ex and our son, it is a case of out of sight, out of mind. He is the disneyland dad who gets him for 4 weeks in the summer and doesn’t have to worry about clothes, food, medical bills, etc…
~L.
10:11 pm on January 18th, 2005
Okay, all those stories may be true, but it works both ways. We just had a guy quit the other day because he couldn’t afford to eat or pay his rent with what he had left over after child support. It’s all well and good when you make decent money, but at 7.50 an hour, and the court takes half, well, there’s not much left. Worst part is he was a good worker.
10:19 pm on January 18th, 2005
Gee - can he afford to eat and pay rent now that he quit his job? Or did he find a better paying job?
My ex had the same issue years ago, it’s why he took on a part-time evening/weekend job to help pay for the things in life that he is responsible for - - which starts with and includes his kids.
7:51 am on January 19th, 2005
We lost a good worker for the same reason, and he was making decent money. Unfortunately the government is a bit too eager to jumps in and pay when you can’t, or won’t, support yourself…
1:05 pm on January 19th, 2005
???? I guess I don’t understand, these guys couldn’t afford their child support so they quit working? How the hell does that make things better…..?
I am fortunate I guess, when I divorced my first wife we had split custody 50/50 so we didn’t have payments. By the time we figured out that this wasn’t in the best interests of our daughter and I gave up my rights (The very hardest decision of my life) my ex-wife was remarried and in a sound stable financial position and for what ever reason we never revisited. I still send money and clothes and such but it is not an issue.
12:27 am on January 20th, 2005
Before you bash me with stories of people who just can’t help it because of this circumstance . . or because of that situation - - I’m talking about the parent who CAN but just won’t. The parent who has the means and the way - but just won’t.
Sounds like a convincing argument for abortion or sterilization.:mrgreen:
12:55 am on January 26th, 2005
You’re all making it sound like it’s the money that really matters. My parents divorced when I was young, and my father doesn’t pay child support. However, more importantly I never get to see him because he’s in and out of jail. I just thought I’d make it clear that, although my mom would certainly appreciate some financial help, the true responsibility in having a child is loving him/her.