Maybe I should be the big guy here. After everything that’s gone past, I suppose it’s possible to be the adult in the situation, hey? Today is my brother’s birthday. We used to exchange cards and phone calls on each other’s birthday every year. That is, up until about 2-3 years ago when that huge blow up changed everything. It was a biggie – it changed the relationship and changed the dynamics within the entire family – not just between him and I. Since then, we’ve learned to be amicable at holiday get togethers with the family. We’ve even found a comfort level enough to sit and talk for awhile….beyond just being amicable. Scott and I used to be very close. All during our childhood we were. In high school, he was my big protector (whether I wanted it or not). When he left for college – we exchanged letters regularly while he was away. And then we would go out clubbing when he came home on holidays. I sang for and stood up in his wedding.

Things just went awry a few years back. I think I’ll call him today and wish him a happy birthday – what the hell? A phone call is not as sentimental as a card or a gift – but it’s a step. Maybe it will start something – maybe not. At least I can say I tried.

On to more exciting things! C. is arranging the date for his arrival here in December. 3 whole weeks – and I’m thrilled. Some days are better than others – but in the last few days I’ve been having a huge “Missing My Man” fest here . . . and I’ve been a little bit whiney. But the good thing about missing him is that I know it won’t be too long before I see him again. We’ve been keeping up with monthly visits pretty regularly for the past two years. There’ve only been one or two months that we didn’t get the chance to spend time together. I’d say that for a long distance relationship like ours – we’re pretty damn lucky. So I can’t whine for too long – - so I only whine in spurts.

Oh oh! We are also in the midst of planning a week in Lake Tahoe in February! I’ll know more about this at the end of the day – because it seems that I have to promise my boss three Saturdays on-call, without the usual on-cal pay – in order for her to let me have those 5 days off in February. I can live with that. It’s a sacrifice I’d gladly make 10 times over if the end result was time with him.