Because there wasn’t enough to do and get done this weekend. Because the index finger on the right hand of a rightie is so over-rated. And because my health insurance policy doesn’t become effective until June 24th - - my oldest decides to go and chop his finger off.

Ok .. he didn’t chop it OFF - - but damn near. He was working in the garage on some little project. I think he was using the knife portion of a Swiss Army Knife as a screwdriver (I didn’t SAY he was Einstein!) - - and he didn’t have the knife completely open, in its locked position - so when he placed pressure on it - - the knife closed down on his index finger, slicing it about 1/2 way through.

Luckily, he missed any important tendons - - but did sever a nerve.

He comes to me with his hand wrapped up in a towel and says “I had a small accident in the garage - but don’t worry, I think all it needs is some neosporin and a bandaid”. So, I follow him into the bathroom where he removed the towel and the blood is just pouring from his finger.. non-stop. He was diagnosed with Von Villenbrand’s Disease when he was 4 years old - - it sounds a lot worse than it really is. It basically means that his blood doesn’t clot as quickly as the average person - - so when I say that the blood was pouring out, I ain’t kididng.

So.. I’m arguing with him about going to the ER because just a quick look tells me that this will need a stitch or two (he ended up with 6 of them) - - it was pretty deep and right below the middle knuckle - which is a horrible spot that will continue to open up again and again if it’s not secured.

As I’m making a neat little tourniquet and pressure bandage around the area, he starts arguing with me becuase he knows the health insurance isn’t active yet. I argue back, letting him know that what I choose to spend my money on is not his choice - and of course he’s worried about a medical bill, but will gladly eat me out of house and home without blinking an eye, right? Pfft.

In the middle of him making his grand debate about why he doesn’t need to go to the ER - he turns as white as a sheet, breaks out in a profuse sweat and looks at me and says… “Mom….” then THUD. He passes out.

Now there. That makes it a bit easier, doesn’t it? Heh. We get him in the car, he wakes up and I hand him a bottle of fruit juice and tell him to keep his mouth shut and his hand raised above the level of his heart. For once in his life, he complies.

We spend the next several hours in the ER because we just happened to get there just in time for the physicians to change shifts - so of course it takes a good hour before anyone can see us.

I’ve made the command decision to lock up my children in a roomy, but safe, cage where they cannot hurt themselves, contract disease or otherwise endanger their health until after the insurance policy is active.

Update:
About an hour after I wrote about the cage thing and keeping my kids safe from disease and health issues until the insurance is effective? The school nurse calls and tells me that my daughter has to come home because she has Strep Throat.

Can you say self-fulfilling prophecy?