Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton:

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, “Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore.” So I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my “Thank You” for what you have done, specifically:

Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone out?

Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until they were older to discuss it with them, but thanks to you - now they know more about it than I did as a senior in college.

Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning of “is” is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one involved does NOT have sex.

Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to the new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie “Wag The Dog” could be plausible after all.

Thank you for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.

Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising.

Thank you for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater ‘mess’ and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other “Clinton” scandals.

Thank you, also, for reducing our military by half. “Gutting” much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on “vacations” carefully disguised as necessary trips.

Thank you, as well, for “finding” millions of dollars - - I really didn’t need it in the first place, and I can’t think of a more well deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned dollars than jet fuel for all your globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration in history.

Now that you have left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin our society

Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I’m sure that Laura didn’t like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you’ve received from your “friend”

Thanks to you and your staff in the west wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (china, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc) out of Air Force One. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank you!

Also, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the 8$ million dollar advance for her upcoming ‘tell-all’ book and you, Bill, the 10$ million advance for you memoirs. Who says crime doesn’t pay?

One last thing - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo Agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called “political prisoners”. However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, ‘insisted’ that all prisoner’s be released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the USA by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV Networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn’t Americans know the real truth?

What a guy!!
Sincerely,
A Citizen of the United States of America

PS - Could you please pass along a special thank you to Al Gor for inventing the Internet. Without which I would not be able to send around this factual e-mail.