My coffee shop was officially sold last week and Gary now has full ownership. He has all the baristas announcing it to every customer who walks up to the counter - as if it’s ground breaking news. Usually (pre-Gary), I would walk in to get my coffee, the radio would be playing some REM or Nickleback…or sometimes Shakira or Norah Jones, the music always gave it a nice atmosphere. The other day I walked in and the music was blaring form the speakers (so much so that I almost had to scream my order at the barista) and they were playing Jimmy Buffet.

Now I don’t mind Jimmy Buffet. Mostly I don’t mind him if it’s summertime and I’m getting sunburnt and drunk at the same time. But in my coffee shop, it just doesn’t fit. Then Gary comes hopping out dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sandals and asks if he can take my order.

‘Uh, yea - large latte with vanilla”

He then proceeds to tell me all about the new changes that I’ll be seeing in the coffee shop over time.

I’m thinking - could you stop talking and make my damn coffee, please? Linda could talk AND make coffee at the same time. *grumble*

Gary says he wants to develop more of a ‘tropical’ flair to the place (in the middle of Wisconsin) - kind of a ‘Florida Keys/Bahamas’ thing. So I ask him if I’ll soon be able to obtain some decent weed from the weird guy sitting in the corner?

He laughed and said ‘yea, mon!”
I didn’t laugh.

I wanted my coffee.

He told me that he’s making changes and is open to new ideas and suggestions - so if I had any, he would surely appreciate it.

I said I didn’t have any, but would think on it. Still waitin for him to start my latte.

He kept pressing for ideas….wondering if he should put out a suggestion box? Ideas….ideas…ideas….

So, I finally relented and gave him one….

“Well, if you’re going to force me to say it…..yesterday I was at the new Starbucks down the street that just opened this week - - and they have a drive-thru”

This time Gary didn’t laugh.

This time Gary finally turned around and made my damn coffee